Social Networking Sites: Don’t Use Them and Have a Real Conversation

Alright boys and girls, marketing majors and bean counters, we are back after the infamous parking debacle and here to discuss another major part of your university experience: Social networking sites.

Social networking sites are the equivalent of tiny dogs that people put sweaters on. One person said it was cute, the dog is completely embarrassed, other people are embarrassed for the dog, it’s just a destructive cycle. Dogs don’t need sweaters they have coats of fur. And we don’t need these sites; we have cell phones, meeting places and good old fashioned conversations.

What have these sites accomplished? This first thing they have done is changed the way the opposite sex communicates with each other. Awkward face to face meetings are becoming more common simply because this generation has not learned the proper communication skills to interact. Social networking sites have abolished the need and ability for people to acquire proper social skills. A person can take 2 hours to think of a witty response, while unbeknownst to the readers they really have no wit at all. Conversely, you can’t fake very much in a real conversation; you either learn to be charming, polite and witty, or you become the smile and nod type. Both work, and both are acceptable by me because they are truthful! Not full of lies and deceit like the topic at hand.

Some may say romance and dating have become easier with social networking sites. My hero Van Wilder once said “Gwen, first dates are interviews” and I couldn’t agree more. But what has it become now? You log on to read a profile and BOOM first date over. You now know their favorite movies, you know their likes and dislikes and their funny quirks like how they love dressing dogs in little sweaters…I really can’t get over how ridiculous they are.

These sites can also be detrimental to future employment. In business school most of us strive to get a job after graduation. But how are we supposed to get a job when the person hiring can simply go online and see a giant picture of you beer bonging and giving “the man” the middle finger? There are less than two degrees of separation in this city, and even if your profile is private and blocked, there is a chance the person hiring knows one of your friends and can ask to see your profile that way. Scary stuff.

Then there is the family. Why is your mom your friend? Why do you want her seeing the picture of you making out with that thing that looks like some kind of inflatable donkey? That is not good, and if she thinks it is funny, you may have bigger family issues on your plate.

Finally, this brings us to tweets and status updates. Twitter lets crazed fans stalk their favorite celebrities’ every move, tying up 911 because Perez Hilton got beat up. Then there are personal tweets by regular people. Why do I need to know you are relaxing by the pool? Are you seriously that bored you had to tweet about it? Or how about my favorite “it’s going to be a great night tonight! Whoo!” Why the “Whoo”? Simply put, guys you are going to try to hit on every girl you see. And girls, you’re going to tell every guy in the club you have a boyfriend. And then you are going to get a street vendor hot dog. Well yes that is awesome. Especially the hot dog. But guess what, instead of tweeting about it I’m there already. Three steps ahead of you.

Oh by the way, Marissa I didn’t forget to call I just lost my phone. Wait! Hold the presses, I’ve figured out one thing these sites are great for. Getting the 250 phone numbers back into my new phone! I’m going to call you all soon to have a real conversation. I promise… Look! A dog wearing a sweater, come here Fido.

The Park is Worse than its Bite

Students who have had the pleasure of dealing with the university parking system understand that there is one word and one word alone to describe the feeling that this system causes, and that word is aneurism. Okay, hold onÖmaybe using a word that describes an exploding artery is a little harsh, but this writer sees no other way to describe the sheer pain students go through when it comes to parking.

Now for those of you who never have parked at the university, and for those first year students, please allow me to take you down the dramafilled trail that was, and is the university parking system. U of M students begin by logging on to the universityís online parking system located on the JUMP website, sometime between mid May and June. Once youíve logged on you must remember your username and password even though you have spent the last 2 months partying and having fun in the sun. If you are one of the lucky people that remembers these facts you are well ahead of at least 20% of the people trying to pay for their parking.

After you have logged on to our wonderful, error free and easy to use websiteÖor more commonly referred to as the 4th circle of hell, you must enter in your information and be thrown into a lottery for one of our very attractive parking lots, including the illustrious U lot and the ominous Q lot. U lot offers its users the promise of exercise as you hike fifteen minutes through ice, prevailing winds, minus 30 degree temperatures and to a lesser extent, vicious wild animals in order to get to class. Managing to catch the shutle however, allows the user to enjoy the awful smells and an asinine scheduling route, That is, unless you take all of your classes in Frank Kennedy.

In addition to the migraine that is U Lot, Q Lot provides its users with a life altering experience equivalent to shrinking 5 inches in height, gaining thirty pounds, losing your dimple and all of your hair. On the plus side the established location of Q lot tends to cater to the large 0.232 percent of the university population that is actually enrolled in St. Paulís College.

Now back in my day (which was a Wednesday I believe) there used to be this nice little lot named L. This lot was the fairy tale of parking with only about 150 spots could be given away and you always hearing of a friend of a friend of yours who actually managed to park there. This lot offered easy and warm access to the tunnel system through Robson Hall and quick access to the faculties of Arts, Science, and Business. Sadly though, this lot has gone the way of the Dodo in favour of pay by day parking. This wouldnít be so bad if it didnít cost you over $1000 a year to park there 5 days a week. Now why has this lot disappeared you may ask? Well it is simple, the University has (over one summer) miraculously changed from a commuter campus to a non commuter campus, where the majority of the students donít drive, live on campus, and/or take the bus. I mean thatís the only logical explanation since the University would never want to take away anything that actually helps students. What better way to show the students you care than by taking away the best lot on campus so more students can pay 8 dollars a day to park on top of their wonderful $40.00 parking ticket they just got yesterday because they were late to hand a paper in and left their car in N lot for all of 3.34 minutes.

Speaking of parking tickets, do you know what really grinds my gears? PARKING TICKETS. Seriously, do they have an army of semi retired parking officers, who are not afraid to journey out into the cold of winter to write down licence plates, and hide behind poles to catch the obviously rich university student whose1994 Lebaron is parked two inches outside the snow-covered painted lines? The parking officers may very well be the most dis-liked people on campus with the exception of the guy that cuts in front of you at Tim Horton at 8:30 in the morning after your thirty minute walk from U Lot. The minimum of 5 parking tickets a year (which you refuse to pay by the way) will have you begging and bartering after mid terms and finals just to get rid of these tickets so you can see your marks. And that my friend is the pains and pleasures of the University of Manitoba parking system.

Editorial by Ryan Didoshak